Books that helps me figure out my identity

Good morning,

I thought about writing this post quite alot, unsure if I should write it at all.. as this involves the Asexual spectrum, and we know how people act with this sexuality sometimes. Nevertheless, I’m gonna try it out and hope for the best, as I do wanna talk about this- my experiences and hopefully getting some help & recs from you guys.

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I’ve been toying with the idea of being on the A-spectrum for a few years, however not quite feeling comfortable with using the label for myself just yet.. because what if it’s absolutely fake and something that was created by another thing completely, and in reality just a side-effect from my contraception pill, or even my anti-depressants.

 

Like most of my generation, I first discovered the A-spec on tumblr. Everything that other people said just made so much sense! That’s how I’ve been feeling, too. Later, I found out a few books that included A-spec MCs that helped making me feel I might not be so outcast after all, and can be loved too.

 

 

      

 ♦︎ Radio Silence, Alice Oseman 

Aled has been the first Book character that I’ve read who gave a really good explanation onto what Asexual/Demisexual was, beside all that I’ve seen on tumblr.

 

« “I think that’s the case for some people,” said Aled. He sounded a little nervous. “But asexuality means … erm … someone who doesn’t feel, like, sexually attracted to anyone. (..) And some people just feel like they’re … like … partly asexual, so … they only feel sexually attracted to people who they know really, really well. People they have, like, an emotional connection with.” »

 

 ♦︎ Let’s talk about Love, Claire Kann

I had seen this one everywhere where talking about A-spec in books, and it was indeed helpful. We see the MC struggling with her asexuality, bummed about the fact that she might need to explain it and coming out everytime she meet someone new.

 

« Love shouldn’t hinge solely on exposing your physical body to another person. Love was intangible. Universal. It was whatever someone wanted it to be and should be respected as such. For Alice, it was staying up late and talking about nothing and everything and anything because you didn’t want to sleep—you’d miss them too much. It was catching yourself smiling at them because wow, how does this person exist?? before they caught you. It was the intimacy of shared secrets. The comfort of unconditional acceptance. It was a confidence in knowing no matter what happened that person would always be there for you. »

« The bottom line was her body had never shown so much as a flicker of sexual interest in anyone. But that didn’t mean she liked being alone. That didn’t mean she wasn’t lonely. That didn’t mean she didn’t want romance and didn’t want to fall in love. It didn’t mean she couldn’t love someone just as fiercely as they loved her. »

 

♦︎ The Love Hypothesis, Ali Hazelwood

My most recent read; I wasn’t aware Olive identified as Demisexual, but some of the snippets of the book just made me SO happy!!

 

« That for years she’d wondered whether she was asexual and she had realized only recently that she might be able to experience sexual attraction, but only with people she trusted deeply? »

« There is something weird about my brain, and my body, and- I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I don’t seem to be able to experience attraction like other people. Like normal people. »

 

 

Ofcourse there’s other books with A-spec MCs that’s been on my wanna read list, but I haven’t gotten into them yet.

Is there more books you’d recomend me?