The constant feeling of being inadequate
I hear it more and more often how when growing up, your brain doesn’t age, just your body. Meaning it’s normal to feel like you’re still 25 mentally, while your body keep aging as you pass birthdays.
However, for me, I’ve just been feeling like a fraud and just.. generally inadequate lately.
My body’s 30 years old, mentally i’m stuck on 25 at best. While I know it’s a myth thinking everybody else has their shit together and know what they’re doing… I do feel like I don’t match the others.
For one reason or another, customers like to pick on me. Imean yeah sure, I have a loud voice- but even when I’m talking normally, not saying anything wrong, I somehow get yelled at still. More and more I feel like there’s some social cues i’m completely missing..
I don’t have many friends, and most times I feel like i’m grabbing at straws trying to get the friendship going- and yes, iknow sometimes it might all be in my head. My bestfriend has a toddler to take care for and had lost 3 family member in the past 2yrs.. I don’t know what’s considered normal or me overtrying things. I’m kinda just.. hoping things resolves itself eventually as I’d be completely lost without her.
Younger generations seems more ahead that I do, I feel like I missed some sort of train- a teaching that I completely missed. When being miscommunicated or misunderstood my reflex is just to give up and stop talking 🙈 just being like “ok well..”
2 thoughts on “The constant feeling of being inadequate”
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Honestly, even as much as it looks like people having their shit together, most people don’t.
When you pass someone on thr street, sou only get a tiny moment out of their every day life.
It’s always way easier to ask others to be here, when they by themselves also have their own life to manage.
Losing family members is no small thing to deal with, ngl.
And, as much as I appreciate my closest frienda to be there for me, it’s also on me to deal mostly with my stuff myself
Yes, we all deal with grief differently – I know I can just accompany her, but she has to do the work herself. And to be fair, when I hit my rock bottom I also tend to push people away and be alone in my sadness 🙈 Maybe that was also how she felt too.. Part of me is just scared that it’s not the logical explanation and that she’s pushing herself from me, if that makes sense.