Heya everyone,
If you’ve been here a while, you’ll notice I have made quite a few mid-life crisis between the last few years.. I now feel like i’ve hit the end of the road; you know when you’ve clearly seen the signs the universe had sent you, but you just didn’t wanted to see them? Thankfully this has nothing to do with blogging or this blog, we’re talking more a hick in my career path.
As with anything else, everything that you go through is suppose to be for a reason; something that it should bring you that you needed to learn or an experience you needed to have. I know this came back in my path a second time to give me a voice; I had been way too silent and needed to stand up for myself more.. But as I don’t do things lightly, I went way too intense and now I have the opposite of the problem.
I’ve been at the same company for almost 9 years now, though a 6months break, but as I had gotten fired so shortly after the first time I left.. I really don’t wanna do it again 🫣 And I like comfortable; I knew my job well enough that I do it in my sleep (literally!) and i’m really good at it. The only downside is that I have now outgrown customer service..
I know there’s something wrong with me, in a way that i’m definately not neurotypical, but it’s coming to a point where even when i’m clearly confused and just haven’t heard the person i’m speaking to, i’m taken as a rude bitch. We’re had the same conversation so many time, and my boss genuinely do wanna help me! But how do you fix something that you aren’t even aware of ? We come back to the very same point every time.. it comes up and better for a while, and eventually we go back down and I get complained at again.
The worst part is that she knows darn well that I don’t mean it, and that i’m not a bad person at all- I take my job seriously, I give it my all (albeith too much…) and i’m nothing if not reliable. I rarely call off sick, I take alot of spare work when others are.. but customer service being a big part of what we do; and ofcourse social media & word-of-mouth, alot of people won’t come because of me.. and that’s not good.
You shain’t give your everything to work because work is always just work in the end; you’re work doesn’t define you and all that- and I know all of these things.. but it still sting. I’ve been doing this for so long, and yes change is hard, so where do we go now?
I’m not out the door yet, so there’s still the option of just.. stop being rude. I’m more than willing to change behavior, but the big problem comes to the HOW. To work on something, you need to first be aware of it. And if customer service doesn’t work for me anymore, than what would?
Beyond my scare of leaving and the new job fiering me for no reason again; my routine has to change. I’ve been doing evenings 1-8pm for so long. I’ve got more evergy than before, but it’s getting used to regular morning 7-5s again. Arguably will give me more time to myself after work, but I won’t be able to give my dog her medicine at 10;30am anymore though my mother can do it as she’s a stay-at-home. It would also be very nice to be in an environment where you’re not pushed to go sick at work because nobody can cover you.
Say something 💕