A lookup of my year; 2018 💎

The last month of the year, wow! Seems like 2018 went by so quickly, and yet .. here we are, only a shadow away from this new year upon us.

A lot of me just cannot believe we’ll be im 2019 soon, I just.. never thought we’d get this far you know 😂🙈  Nonetheless, 2018 was quite a good year for me, and gave me quite alot that i’ve been wishing for so long.

This post is technically not book oriented, but hey, let me “cheat” a little and include it as bookending winter aswell because, why not! 

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1- Hapiness
The more important thing first; after i’ve gotten my job at the sexshop (end of 2017), it’s the happiest i’ve ever been since.. I had gotten so low in my anxiety and depression; I just reread my older writtings on my tumblr and I just cannot believe that it was me.. However I do remember the aching pain I felt in that moment, though, and i’m mostly always bursting in tears (surprise, eh..).

I finally got some weight on my body. When all this mess started (2014-2015?), my body decided to give me a stomach problem which was anxiety driven; and I went from 120lbs to 110 in the span of a week. You can imagine how I freaked out, this was NOT even from will. Out of the blue, and in an unhealthy way I lost quite alot – and got a little paranoia onto weighting myself for a while .. and never saw thoses pounds coming back on my body after that problem had been fixed with depression medication.

Until this very moment that is, when I started being happy again. I had a job I loved and enjoyed, my boss was a sweetheart and appreciated what I was doing for her (unlike the rest i’ve ever had). I still do have bad days, being happy 100% of the time just isn’t possible, but things got an incredible amount better from where i was.

 

2- Love
2018 has also brought me love, something I desperately wanted for years – bringing my soul down even more in the process, as i felt it was THE thing I was really missing (dogs can only do so much..)

exerpt of my personal tumblr

and I finally found him, years later. “Funniest” part, on tinder out of all the places. I had loaded/deleted the app many times, falling only on thoses who only wanted sex.. you know, with today’s society and all. And- I decided to try again, I was lonely and really really wanted to have a man’s attention. Out of the couple guys I was talking to at the time, he was my favorite one. And a good looking one at that !

But what got me, probably, was that under the gym fanatic (as im so NOT that) there was a gamer who was always up for junkfood and being lazy (yep. I LOVE being lazy).

Myself, who usually RUN FOR THE HILLS when a stranger want to meet me -even just as friends, lets say it- was completely fine with meeting this cute one. So at a fair that was, anxiety had the kick-off but went away as soon as I saw that shy boy. This exact one who kissed me on top of the ferris wheel and had asked to hold my hand.

After only that one date, our fate was sealed. Not gonna lie, things went so quick xD boom boom and done. Half of a year together already and I couldn’t had found better, though yeah.. he could’ve had spoke french but hey xD you cannot have everything ahah.

 

3- Dreams
I’ve never was someone who had like, real dreams and such for my future .. sadly as it sounds. And yet this year .. I’ve been dreaming, and even looking forward to a couple of things – which I don’t recall ever being the case !

Where I’d want my blog to be (maybe even making it my career, who know!), living on my own with the weeins and Alex, Finally taking the jump for be able to drive..

 

4- Money (?)
Considering I’ve had only 15hours while working at the Sex Shop, you can say i’ve somewhat gotten more money ; my work hours have more than doubled every weeks and I also have tips !

I’ve been able to afford things, like my mac, who would’ve had been absolutely out of the question beforehand. Which was also a good thing with how much of my money went for vet expenses this year for the weeins.. *aherm*.

Only down point in that is .. having more hours, and more often on evenings, it’s getting alot more difficult to juggle with both of our schedule for Alex and I to see each other; Which I hope 2019 will be better on that.

 

5- Friends !!
Okay, I might not have gain more “physical” friends I can actually do stuff with ; but nonetheless, the bookish community have gave me lots and lots of friends !!

People I can chat with at any times of my day (perks of timezones ! ahah) about anything and everything, and I know I won’t be judge and if we talk bookish and blogish – ones that’d actually understands what im talking about !

 

Thoses have been my 5 main things that 2018 brought me !
What would be yours ?