Being asexual in this hyper-sexual society

Good morning!

I’m hopeful this post will be kindly received; I just need to share some thoughts regardless.. so let’s give this topic a go. While many people would claim it as untrue, Aphobia is very much a thing in society and something we face.

Related; Books that helped me figure out my identity, 4 more book with Ace MCs on my radar

For backstory, I just have started to wear this label within the recent years.. Although understanding the concept from Tumblr posts, which clearly made me think it might apply to me. However, one of my fear was how it might not be “genuine”, as I don’t know if it’s my true self or something induced by my anti-depressant medication.

In the end, does it really matter if i’m really on the Ace spectrum or if it’s a sexual deficit from medication that I have no desire to stop? I don’t think so. Anyway it is nobody else’s business than my own, which we shall identify ourselves as we so please. One more thing that made me not identify to this sexuality sooner was how my ex would claim « Ah! you can’t be asexual because of X!» — Which let’s say it’s just BS 🙂 We can still identify as Ace even if we do have sex, or crave it every blue moon, or whatever.

Being Asexual within a hyper sexualised society is hard.. Ofcourse you first think of yourself as being broken! You think « Why can’t I just be like everyone else? ». Although I gotta say, I very rarely feels horny, if ever, so when I do I have no idea what to do with it and just ignore it 😆 I’ve had many guy friends complain to me how horny they are and being bothered to which i’d just be like eh! 🤷🏽‍♀️ can’t relate. 

For the last few weeks i’ve been trying to befriend a regular that comes to my workplace, and i’ve got the bad surprise of being pulled a joke on me where he claimed not to believe in sex – Okay, i’ll admit the way he said it should’ve clearly been seen as “untrue”; however, the way he just assumed I was “normal” made me upset. For his sake, he had no way to know as we hadn’t really discussed that beforehand- but he broke the joke way too late where I was so happy thinking I had found somebody like me you know! and then bam, « ah yeah, ofcourse it was just a joke.. ».

Now in his joke, he had claimed to had denied all his past gfs their advances.. Which to me sounded great! from my experience, I had been guilted to sex by my ex before – so it wasn’t really the best timing to claim the joke.

I’ll shall give him the benefit of the doubt for now, but the topic is in no-way a good thing to joke about. Just like you wouldn’t joke about being pregnant as you don’t know whom around you might’ve been through a misscarriage. Might we live through a time where being high-sex isn’t the norm..