Giving the holidays their sparkles back?

Heeya,

In case you didn’t knew already, the holiday season is also twinned with my very own birthday on the 27th.. and yet I am quite numb & insensible to this season. I’m very much a grinch, wiener dogs (two, in fact- in the newer cartoon max is a dachshund, or close to anyway!) and all.

Although i’m theoretically raised Catholic, my immediate family isn’t religious pratiquant; Christmas is however something that we celebrate. Though the more.. commercial version of it, iguess.

We do start our Christmas tree in early december, exchange gifts at midnight on the 24th and usually have a turkey or ham supper between us three on the 25th. That’s however all that we do, usually. Then on the 27th I have my cake and the few cards or gifts I didn’t open on the 25th; again, not usually doing much of anything as my birthday tend to attract snowstorms and my bestfriend, aswell as family, are 3hrs away. I do have a work friend this year we can do something with!!

The holiday season used to be a big family thing, until I got to 12years old. Our big family on dad’s side would almost all go to my grandmother’s house for supper and the evening. My godfather would also do a huge party for new year- his last one had been when I turned 19, as he choosed to stop drinking.

Things started to go south after, family altercations for one, but we also moved 3hrs away from them.. and again winter is really bad on transportation, especially a 3hrs ride. It can be pretty at both end, but a snowstorm in the plain middle of it!

Everything put together, I became cold and grinchy at Christmas; as do my father. Which is unfortunate for my mother, who loves how pretty everything is and have to put up with TWO grinches 😅

Don’t get me wrong, gifting & receiving gifts are fine.. but i’m at the age where I don’t even know what I want!! I mostly all get what I’ve wanted through the year on my own, and I usually do this thing where i’m like “Well I need to buy this thing.. but it’s pricey and I don’t wanna buy it” (this year was a bed frame). And boy it’s even worst as it’s for my birthday too! 🤦🏽‍♀️

This year will be my goddaughter’s first real christmas, as she was a month old last year, but also our first without one of my grandma. The very lady that we had the family Christmas gathering when I was a child, so that’s gonna hit real hard.. I have no doubt the family won’t ever be the same now. In a free fall and only seeing a few member; all reunited for stuff like funerals.

How can I be numb to all of this, the only Christmas songs that I like being the very old french album that I grew up on and that came out in like, 1998? 😝

Everywhere you look, and in media too, Christmas is portrayed like this magical thing.. and I do have a family- though it’s just my two parents & three pets, my babies. How can I change this mentality? What new traditions can I start?!