Is love a feeling or a Choice?

Good morning everyone, and Happy Valentine’s day Eve!

Wether you celebrate it as being kinder to yourself, among friends or between lovers – or even not at all- I hope you have a good day xx

This topic has been rolling in my head lately, and I find it being particularly good timed with V Day being tomorrow. I first stumbled on this discussion on tumblr ithink, or maybe tiktok- I don’t quite remember.

When I first saw this question; my thought was that “Ofcourse it’s a feeling, what is that question?” but as they made their point across.. it made sense that it’s actually a choice.

From very young, they give us this misconception of what a feeling love should be- agremented with disney movies. How love should be the butterflies, and all those things that you should feel inside of you; which when you don’t know better, makes you think that once you can’t feel them anymore, it must means you just stopped loving them.

While a good part of it is true: you should be able to be your best self with your partner, feel safe with them and so on.. as the years goes on, it’s just impossible for the body to keep reacting that strongly, which is often called “the honeymoon phase”. Eventually, it’s normal that the butterflies flutters less, five- maybe twenty years down the line. Your relationship will change a bit, and so does you and your partner.

But really? It’s a choice. Love can only do so much: people make mistakes, both partners evolves as human beings through the years, situation changes.. it’s a conscient choice to keep fighting to stay together. To keep picking this particular human instead of going the easy way and running to the hills, even potentially cheating. I’d argue that it’s a part of every relationships, and not just romantic ones.

I’d like to see that portrayed in books and movies more- instead of the lie we’ve been given all of our life. I’m a firm believer that Love wins at the end, but that’s only ever true if both parties makes the choice to stay. That’s probably the best part about Second Chance romance, when you think about it.. They’ve messed up once and lived without the other, that they know it’s better with this human in their life.

What do you think?