Positives 2020 reflexions

Good morning,

Although it has been a tough year for us all, it’s always a good thing to try to find some positives aspects of everything. I’ve also posted the five things i’m thanksful for in the event of Thanksgiving this year, but let’s look at the more bigger portrait.

We are -again- quite late with this prompt from Sumedha @ The Wordy Habitat for December 13th. — Prompt’s post, Her post ;

Positive 2020 Reflections
2020 has not been easy but we should take some time to find positives everywhere because it helps us move on easily. Take today to talk about the highlights that made this year bearable.

Disclaimer; this will probably not be in chronogical order, just how I remember things.. If I remember them — I may forget other things too. 

❤︎ Working through the pandemic; I’m someone who NEED to be doing things for my mental health .. I can’t see myself being stuck in my house for a long period of time, even when medicated, because going to work and coming back give me this high sense of purpose that I need. Although it’s a negative aspect of myself to seemingly always having to do something somewhat productives in my days.. I’m just glad my Café had been able to be drive-thru only at the worst of the pandemic and that we didn’t had to fully close down so I had something to do of my days and somewhat take my mind off of things.

I’ve also been promoted to Night Supervisor this year, it was the second time my manager proposed me but the first time I had declined because I was more panick-y and something had happened that I was just like “…no. can’t do this”. It hasn’t been easy coming from an all over schedule, but this came with a set schedule of 1-9pm from Tuesday to Saturday (modified sometimes they might need me on sundays for X reason) and a slight raise of a dollar per hour. As someone who ain’t a morning person, being able to sleep in every morning & on good days being able to game/shower/schedule posts/etc. before work is so nice!

❤︎ A Loving environment; I know I have my mother, my bestfriend & a friend I can always chat with whenever something is wrong with my mental health. Many times I just express how i’m feeling and talk about it with my mother, whom always encourage me through it — although sometimes she’d say things like «Everyone feel like this right now» …which yes, while I do know that, this doesn’t help me in any way in that given time 🤣

The way my depression & anxiety works, I don’t have many things I feel like I need to confess or talk about with a psy or anything.. but it’s nice that I have this circle of loving people I can talk with whenever with whatever might be brewing; and all that knowing they love me and won’t judge.. sometimes even sharing that feeling.

❤︎ Knowing my limit, mental-wise; As i’m writing this I haven’t talked to my doctor yet, and thus my meds haven’t been up nor have I seen any result showing that my guts we right — However, I’m lucid enough to see that my meds are indeed working well still.. but they might not be as high as i’d need them to.

I don’t have the constant weight of it on my chest as I did before I got on them, but while I got maybe 1 or 2 crisis a MONTH before, I’m now to multiple a week. I’ve had a random panic 4days in a row; always near bedtime. Which of course made it difficult to sleep or read, and my panic tend to go heavier in the dark; as as they’ve increased and showing in a time where you can’t really do anything outside, I’m struggling on how to deal with them.

Share some positive of 2020 with me ✨