Good Morning!
Yep, lots of mental health posts lately! Sorry about that š Ā Iāve recently went back to using āFacebook Meetingā (instead of tinder) again to talk to people and possibly gain a few friends (maybe even more, who knows); thus this question plopping in my mind!
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Iām not one to believe that my anxiety and depression really defines me, but it is however a pretty big part of me ā one that iām not ashamed of and wonāt hide that my brain just has itās problems, nor that iām on medications.. though that can leave for some not-so-nice interactions, as with that one guy I talked about in my post Ā«Never be ashamed of taking anti-depressantsĀ».
My mom, on the other hand, is absolutely against me even speaking about it- not in the āspeaking before datingā part of it anyway.. to her itās none of their business. While I think that itās better that they show me what they think about it and get them off in the first days/weeks rather then actually gaining feeling for them and possibly hit the āWell if you love me youād (ā¦)ā phase. Everything is so easier to deal with in the beginning of things, and itās not like I can hide my mental health ā¦ in one way or another, I might show some signs (like being tired, not wanting to go out, etc.) eventually; sure it sucks having someone back away as they didnāt understand what a ādepressive episodeās dayā is and that itās not related to them at all, just how my brain acts sometimes. Even if the medication do work wonders on my mental health, it wonāt just dissapear.. it will show itās face from time to time, and I think itās important that weāre all on the same page and not hide them.
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While we are sadly still having some stigma about Mental Health in 2020, what can also happen is finding someone who either A)Ā Have the same thing and relate to you or B)Ā Know and love someone who does.Ā Dating is really about getting to know each other, and something as big as how your brain works shouldnāt be brushed aside. Itās quite important that your possible future partner knows about your issues, and how to deal with them when they arise ā similarly, youād wanna know about theirs too!
Something that was not so great in my past relationship was that his Depression and Anxiety was worst than mine.. and untreated. Mixed with the fact that we were most often separated on the other side of the town, he was mostly feeling at his worst while I wasnāt there; as of which I knew.. but couldnāt do anything. Which of course perked MY own anxiety and depression up, because I knew his were low and I couldnāt know what he might do or if he wouldnāt do something stupid; which happened quite frequently because his was āon the looseā.
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What do you think?
- Should we talk about our MH early enough, or is there a specific step that itās better to cross beforehand?
- Are you generally open about talking about your situation?
- Did you experienced something similar? What did you do?
I like to talk openly about my anxiety disorder. For me, itās a way of owning it. Itās a part of me. Itās not something I fear or something I hide but part of what makes me who I am. I was diagnosed with diabetes when I was nine-years-old and Iāve always talked openly about that, too. Itās part of me and, practically, if a low blood sugar episode comes on itās just safer for the people Iām with to know whatās going on. When I began therapy and began learning about my anxiety, I just treated it in the same way.
While Iād never encourage anyone to share anything they werenāt comfortable with and we should all set our own boundaries, I like to share that information because itās a part of me and, even when it can make life really hard, I still love my anxious parts.
Iām absolutely with you on that. Sure, it doesnāt *define* us, but I do believe itās part of myself too. Iām not ashamed of my sick brain, just like any other experiences I mightāve had in my lifeā iāll openly talk about it or even with myself being medicated for it too.
For one, this is a good thing- as the more we openly talk about it, the more awareness it gets. Even better if we share some important struggles of it that can help others like us, or even maybe a loved one to understand.
On the other side thoughā¦ more often than not if itās talked about too early with a new person you just met, they tend to just hit the road never to be seen again! Worst, a guy shamed me to even want to remain medicated. š¤¦š½āāļø said it Ā«Ā numb me and what i feel is created by the medicationĀ Ā»ā¦ needless to say he got a big olā rant from me š¬