The ghost of past Christmas’
This Christmas will sure be a different one for lot of people this year because of the “recent” pandemic.. However, this event sadly doesn’t change much for our family — as it collapsed long ago after we moved in 2009.
While I know when Alex was blogging on here, he did a post of how Christmas was happening in his house – but I never actually talked much about mine. To be completely honest, I was rather jealous over his celebrations, or anyone’s for that matter, and was eager to finally *potentially* live it with them.. but alas- this shall not be experienced 😅
* This is my first “creative” not-following-prompts of this year BEWinter — This shall not be taken as «I have it worst», but rather like «I’ve lived it, so Iknow how sad it is, and i’m rooting for you all» ❤️ *
Note that I actually don’t have any memory of when exactly the stories that i’m gonna tell takes place in (if on the 24th or 25th, and in which year) — this is just what I remember from when I was a kid, before my 12years old; for context, i’m almost 26.. so it has been a while.
🎄 Dad have a BIG family; My grandma got 12kids, which all of them are married and had atleast 2-3kids.. and thoses kids got around 2-3kids too and so on. On my generation, we are only three of the same age (as of which i’m the baby of them, because well.. try to beat the 27th of december 🤣).
Most of the “original” 12 are now living in other places of the world; but back when I was around maybe four or five years old, it was a thing that a good portion of the family got back to my grandparent’s for the holidays. I remember there was two big tables in the kitchen for the adults/”older” teenagers, and the kids/teenagers were all in the living room in front of the TV. My godfather dressed as Santa Claus and there was a pile of gifts for us all under the tree; clothing for me, for the most part — my grandmother was always making quilts and clothes and etc.
🎄 Closer to my 12years, the Christmas before we moved out, we made a party at our house for my mother’s immidiate family (her mother along with her three other siblings). The table was full of little snacks and although our family isn’t really religious, Dad was making it “A Thing” to go for the midnight mass at our local church before we could open the gifts. Little me could haardly wait and tried to beg him onto allowing me 1-2 here and there before midnight.
The one that I miss the most has been the celebrations at my grandmother’s.. Although we’re not particularly even close to dad’s side of the family anymore; first we lost my grandfather, then my grandmother got herself a boyfriend who was alcoholic and tried to “get her children out of the way” for her to give him stuff.. and finally after that boyfriend passed she’s now in a senior home. Even now, not all the mess that he caused had been fixed; my godfather still refuses to see or even talk to his mother. They’re also mostly more materialistic people.. so they started to look at us wierdly after mom got sick and we got WAY less money, only having dad as the breadwinner.
As for the midnight masses, this is not a things anymore xd not that I believe.. but it’s not the same in a random church where we moved rather than the one where I grew up and that had seen my baptism aswell as my first communion, you know..
From time to time we try to get to my uncle’s for a Christmas supper with my family (dad, mom & I) with my grandmother & my godmother; however one of their brother is missing.. He had only moved to Ontario to get in a relationship, but while we had more contact when he left, now we barely ever hears of him; he’ll call maybe once a year.
All my family are where we left them, a 3h drive away — and that spot of time of the year in December are usually un-predictable for snowstorms.. so driving there can be dangerous, our roads can be perfectly fine but when halfway there might be more icy. Myself and dad are also needed to work on Christmas & New year (or around thoses dates), so it’s not like we can get caught up in snowstorms and unable to come back either.
Try to enjoy the holidays, even a little bit.. I love you all xx
Hopefully things shall get better in the next year