When depression hits.. increased by winter & unemployment

Hello everyone,

November is knocking at our door very quickly, we only have a few days left in October. It’s no surprise that alot of us might start to feel the seasonal depression creepling in.. which in my case is greatly affected by having lost my job almost a month ago in the end of September.

I’ve always been one of those person that feels empowered by my work, taking great pride in doing my work right and working harder than most.. which led me straight into a burnout when covid first hit as we were only two workers at that time, and I was basically working for two people as my peer wasn’t doing much of her own part.

Needless to say, I hadn’t seen it coming; everything was great, I was happy, learning and improving.. I had nothing but good reviews! Suddently, I was out of job. Though I have nothing to worry for financial issues this time around, it sucked the life out of me.

Out of nowhere, I now had nothing to do of myself – my pride taken away – and browsing jobs, I didn’t even know what I wanted. In fact, I actually knew what I wanted, I wanted my job back but alas.. not an option. I’ll admit my suicidal idealisation came back at that time too, as what am I suppose to do with my life now, THAT was what I had thought it would be spent. It quickly took a backseat in my brain though, as I now have a 3rd animal needing me, aswell as my new goddaughter & my bestfriend who need my help to face this new step of her life, as we always did.

Cherry on the sundae, good old seasonal depression came to spice things up 💫 The past weeks had been ugly, raining, and a limbo of warmth/cold weather.

I’ve felt myself really slipping in it, though everyone told me to take this as a vacation to do things I love: read more, walk my dogs, rests.. the bad weather really made it hard. I was already sad about the situation, uncertain of where I wanna go to next, anger about having gone through 5 interviews for nobody to call me back .. let’s say it’s “improving” the bad mood rather than easing it.

Since i’m constantly at home, my insomnia had worsen up. What started as small zits on my scalps are now huge wounds.. as when i’m anxious or can’t sleep at night, I have the habit to pick and scatch at things. Which is a pretty good indicator of my anxiety level, the higher it is, the more violently I scratches. Added layer of my restless legs giving me a hard time aswell as it mysteriously start acting up more with the rain (we think there must be arthritis in my legs too..)

I recently started taking measures, forcing me to get out or be around people – which did made me feel a bit better lately, though my insomnia is still kicking.

My godmother just spend 4days with us, then we are going to stay a night at my bestfriend’s, spending time with her & the baby, to finally going to retouch my zelda tattoo later on in the week. Hopefully I can find a workplace where I feel like I belong and get called back sooner than later- I can’t see myself going forward with this much longer.. though I gotta say it wouldn’t be such a bad thing in snow storms or blizzards 😅

Have you went through this before, has seasonal depression got you yet?

Any tips that might work to help my research and/or momentally feel better?