Are we ever ready to lose someone? (Rambling off losing a pet, and diagnosis of mitral valve disease in dogs)
My middle child, 9 year old female dachshund, had a cardiologist appointment following a heart murmur graded 5 (meaning it’s hearable easily without a stéthoscope; her blood proteins were now up to 1200, which when over 900 it will start having problems caused to the heart)
When writing a post within our local doxie family fb group about me being anxious of the test being done, I mentionned how I was nervous to know because I’m not ready to let her go yet. She’s my lifeline, along with her brothers, i’d give my life for them! And then it got me to think… are we really ever ready?
(Never « just an animal », My dachshunds saved my life)
The echocardiogram showed that it is a degenerative mitral valve disease, the most common cause of heart murmur in dogs- which dachshunds are a breed prone to it. The valve in the left part of her heart doesn’t hermitically close, having the blood reflux back in the heart, creating the “swooshing” sound.
Medication doesn’t cure it, but it slow the progression of the condition. Which will eventually evolve in congestive heart failure: at this stage more medication can be given. Her diagnosis is only at B2; so we have plenty of time left with her, thanksfully! She’s still full of life and happy- no sign of her heart disease except for a little exercice extenuation.. that’s good.
One of my friend in our local doxie group shared that hers stayed with them until 14 years old with the medication! Given she’s currently 9, that’s 5 whole more years!
While it did soothe me a little, aswell as my research that ended up being exactly what we’re dealing with… we all know 5 years isn’t remotely enough. It will never be long enough! In a perfect world, the three of us will go together, not having to face the world without them… but that’s not the reality, and I know it. This breed can live up to 20 years old, on the best of care and situation, some even going way beyond!
Growing up, mother’s poodles lasted 11 and 10 years. Her first one left when I was 10, and her second left us a few months before my beloved cat did in 2015. Though I feel that’s not the same.. they were “family” dogs, but most obviously my mothers. Yes I was sad, but it was different kind of sad. It eventually passed.
For my cat it was different; she choosed me to be hers. And we all know I still cry about her, the blatant ressemblance with her is how I adopted my kitten in the first place! I also felt guilty for the longest time of not being able to save her.. main reason why we had to euthanize her was because she had a hole in her ear as she was a outside cat, she might’ve fought or caught on something.. back then my parents didn’t had funds for vet, and as mother just received a kidney transplant, her blood going everywhere in the house was dangerous for my mother, so we had to make a choice. I wasn’t in any ability to pay for her vet bills then.
(Majora’s theory, Hommage to grisette)
My dachshunds are another story.. it feels like it was just yesterday I got them from the breeder as puppies! In a flash they are now 10 & 9, our longest living dogs… that’s insane to think of.
Kafei came to me in a moment of high depression, I held on to him so much I cried in the middle of a night out for my best friend’s birthday because I couldn’t sleep home with him- I needed to leave. I was so badly attached to him that when I got sheik and my love “equaled out”, I was scared I didn’t loved him anymore as it felt different,. When it just slipped into normal “not toxic, depending on” love.
I already know losing them will destroy me. Just like it would if it was my mother or my bestfriend; but unlike a human, we know our living spans are so different… we’re gonna have to outlive them.
Ofcourse Majora will still be around, as he’s only 2- way younger than both my eldest. I know I can’t live without atleast one dog (maybe not get two next time..) and I am now aware of a dachshund rescue another province away. As of which we regularly travel for their events & donate a lot to.
Again, it’s not the same.. it won’t be them. They all have they personality and knacks- sure you can find similar breed traits across the board, but I need these specific souls! I need Kafei & Sheik!
With time going fast and aging dogs.. I won’t deny that i’m even more scared of losing them. They’ll be my “cherished dogs” that started it all and that I will tell stories about for the rest of my life. My heart & soul dogs. My everything.
I’m just hoping that when their time will come, hopefully another decade from now, that i’ll have a strong supporting family to help me get through it..